Its been A LONG TIME since I have sat to write.
When I reflect on my life over the last 10 month or so I actually am in awe of the changes that have come to be.
I can only explain it to be a period of embodiment & integration.
A time of flowering, fruition & manifestation.
What this means to me right now - Is a period of time where I was called to put into action all that I had learned & realigned in regards to my beliefs & ways of being.
In the beginning there was a definite period of what felt like "tests" - I could feel it at the time.
Strong callings to walk my talk. Put into practice the skills & new beliefs I had been cultivating & nurturing over the previous few years.
I felt it as it was in motion. It was interesting & I was up for it!
Was it scary at times - Yes. Did I still have feelings of doubt at times - Yes. Was it uncomfortable - Yes. Was it unfamiliar - Yes!
It was all the things my friend.
Within all these growing pains so to speak there was the whole scope of emotion (which I have also learned that I can hold now. Life is no longer black & white - you may say it is technicoloured lol)
I now also feel light, inspired, in awe of the beauty of life, deeply grateful & recognise my innate power. That I am indeed the creator of my life. I don't so much have control over it - But I sure do have the choice over how I meet what unfolds before me.
In this way - All of life is interesting & full of opportunity.
I also learned to embody following my intuition, a knowing, a new guide. Self reassurance. Self validation & approval. I learned to speak up, clearly, kindly. How to be vulnerable. I felt empowered & a deep sense of trust in myself in relation to my new path, new ways of being & all new the new versions of me they called for AND indeed the greatest of all - A deep trust in the unfolding of life.
Now perhaps if you had shared the above pic with me a few years back I would have looked at you quite sceptically!
I would say I wanted to believe it - but there was still a gap.
Still some cleaning up, some learning to do, some work, some practice, more clearing out & of course the tests....
There is a big passage of work that is clearing out that which does not serve my friend. I say this as I have been there - you cannot skip it. That which you try to skip will remain & return.
You must be your own greatest, brave & compassionate warrior.
Some call it shadow work. I call it looking in the mirror with radical responsibility.
Ultimately it ends up as a journey of self love & empowerment.
It takes a deep listening & return to the wisdom of your body.
It takes learning to say no in so many different ways.
It takes a channelling of your energy. Learning to read it. Then honouring it.
This is the cleaning up process. Releasing that which does not serve your highest good.
Then it takes some growing up. Getting to know you. Who you are & what you really believe.
Not what you just adopted as your own from those around you, the culture, the time.
Real inquiry.
This is your self actualisation. When you can still connect to the group but not be governed by it.
Then of course you are called to show up - To walk it. The tests my friend.
Again & again & again.
With a beginners mind. Always humble, ready to learn & willing to restart.
You in time, get shown & are reaffirmed by life that you are on the right path.
Not always in the way that you think......often through feelings of resonance, glimmers of joy, grace, insight & alignment. Deep gratitude & feelings of expansion.
All things that no one can see.
Throughout this process you are called to trust, over & over.
These high vibrational feelings become your guidance - how can they be wrong?
These too take time to learn to listen to.
The come from right action & good intent only. Clarity. Inspiration. Gratitude. Authenticity & integrity.
A reflection of the path you are walking & the choices that you make.
As my dear friend Fran would say - Things just fall into place.
It seems they do. The interesting thing is - There is "work" involved - yes OR perhaps I would reword it as a commitment. But also it seems the way of moving with life is different.
Instead of a struggle, it is deeply fulfilling.
There is capacity to walk lightly & hold softly to everything.
As it is always changing.
Nothing is promised.
It is all a gift.
Many blessings my friend. Thank you for taking the time to read my ponderings xo
